June Takes Wayback Machine, Writes to Self. (Because god forbid she do anything important with wayback machine, like, oh, 9/11 or what have you.)

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 12:00:00 GMT

Source: byebyepie.typepad.com --- Monday, June 17, 2013
If somehow we were able to travel around in time--and don't really smart science-y people claim we really can? If so, will someone go back to 1983 and find my dang senior yearbook? Where'd I LEAVE it? Oh, and on your way out of the '80s, please drop me a line about not getting that spiral perm. Thanks. Anyway, if we were able to travel around in time, here's what I would say to 2003 June. Dear 2003 June, First of all, that cell phone you have, the one that's the size of a shoe, will not last that long, so don't go to the mall kiosk and get them to bedazzle it with pink rhinestones. Honest. I mean it. By next year you will turn that flip phone in, and that pink sparkly Eiffel Tower decoration is a goner. Also, June, your summer of 2013 looks like this: You'll spend breezy evenings walking your dog and waving at your neighbors. Yes, dude, it is your dog. I KNOW you've wanted a dog forever. Isn't she dignified? Wait'll you smell her. You have a dog because you have a house. I know ! Over there in 2003, houses cost, like, 8 million hundred dollars, and that is because you are in Los Angeles, still, and also because the economy is good. Live it up with that economy, June. Live it up now . Your salary will still not be in 2013 what it was in 2003 in LA. And yes. You, my dear, do not live in LA anymore. You are in the South, like Scarlett O'Hara and Ouiser and Harper Lee and Otis the town drunk. You'll sniff your neighbor Peg's magnolia ...