To: Datuk Abdul Hakim Borhan, mayor of Kuala Lumpur From: The Ampersand Canadian "Too Sexy" Police Re: Banning Avril Lavigne and other Canadian miscreants to keep out Dear Leader, The Avril Lavigne threat has nearly been thwarted. As the 23-year-old Napanee ne'er-do-well prepares to bring that "Best Damn Tour" to Kuala Lumpur on August 29, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic party has officially deemed her "too sexy" to perform. "It's not good for Malaysia," a party official told the Associated Press . But we are hardly yet safe from Maple Leaf indecency. At this very moment, there are other O, Canada miscreants attempting to influence the hearts and minds of our young. Who are these other malefic, Roots-wearing hockey geeks? Dear Leader, we must not let Anne Murray wash upon our shores. These are the Canucks that need censor. 10. Glass Tiger's Alan Frew At first we thought this Glass Tiger front man was actually Family Ties ' Alan Thicke. But it turns out that is somebody else altogether. No matter. Ban them all! 9. Classified Sure, you're a rapper from Halifax, but what else are you packing in your white hippity-hoppity bag? What's that? It's Classified? So is your Kuala Lumpur laminate. YEAHHHHHHH, BOYEEEEE! 8. Feist You may have played with the Muppets , but we know you also play with that bearded dude from Broken Social Scene. Not cool. And we hate iPods, too. 7. Ed the Sock Yeah, sure, he's a puppet. But what's going on under t ...
Anytime
To: Datuk Abdul Hakim Borhan, mayor of Kuala Lumpur From: The Ampersand Canadian "Too Sexy" Police Re: Banning Avril Lavigne and other Canadian miscreants to keep out Dear Leader, The Avril Lavigne threat has nearly been thwarted. As the 23-year-old Napanee ne'er-do-well prepares to bring that "Best Damn Tour" to Kuala Lumpur on August 29, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic party has officially deemed her "too sexy" to perform. "It's not good for Malaysia," a party official told the Associated Press . But we are hardly yet safe from Maple Leaf indecency. At this very moment, there are other O, Canada miscreants attempting to influence the hearts and minds of our young. Who are these other malefic, Roots-wearing hockey geeks? Dear Leader, we must not let Anne Murray wash upon our shores. These are the Canucks that need censor. 10. Glass Tiger's Alan Frew At first we thought this Glass Tiger front man was actually Family Ties ' Alan Thicke. But it turns out that is somebody else altogether. No matter. Ban them all! 9. Classified Sure, you're a rapper from Halifax, but what else are you packing in your white hippity-hoppity bag? What's that? It's Classified? So is your Kuala Lumpur laminate. YEAHHHHHHH, BOYEEEEE! 8. Feist You may have played with the Muppets , but we know you also play with that bearded dude from Broken Social Scene. Not cool. And we hate iPods, too. 7. Ed the Sock Yeah, sure, he's a puppet. But what's going on under t ...