[rant] There's an MS bike rally rolling through my town today, and I had the misfortune of just having to drive 20 miles round trip through it to run an errand to my house. Let me just say, I haven't seen that much ****ing spandex in, well, ever. There's literally ACRES of it out here right now. Some of these people look like those elephants you see at the circus balancing with all their feet on this ridiculously small little platform, except they're perched up on a bicycle and look some sort of genetically altered mushroom or something. There must be a company out there that specializes in reinforcing bike frame seat posts, because I can't believe these people aren't getting forced colostomy exams just getting on their bike. These aren't "muffin tops" either, these are overfilled, bulk pizza dough machines gone awry and spilling their contents in some sort of horrible industrial grade pizza plant accident. I swear that for every nice female ass in spandex, there's at least four or five fatties strutting around to balance the natural order of things off. ****ing disgraceful. To top it off, these jackbags set up a "checkpoint" right at the end of my road, because there's a parking lot conveniently situated on the end of my road just a few yards off the blacktop highway. So when I went to turn off on to my road, some Chumly the Walrus looking mother****er in orange vest holds up his hand to stop me. That dude was about 6 seconds away fr ...
Anytime
